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Apr. 6th, 2009

Apr. 1st, 2008

01:53 am - Grr...

Ya know what i hate but not at the same time...crying myself to sleep...it sucks cuz i hate to cry but at the same time it is something that use to be some common that its comforting and it puts you into a good sleep. i found myself crying last night when i was laying down...not totally sure why..it was a mix of jealous towards some people and some other things in my mind. and i find myself when i cry to want someone to hear me and comfort me but at the same time i dont wanna or can explain whats wrong and you know thats going to be what they ask. so last night as i was laying down unable to sleep i tried not to bug jason and keep my tears to a low sob..but secretly wanted him to just wake up and hold me...

How sad is it that i'm so frustrated and jealous of people who are my age or younger that me that are married/engaged and have babies... I'm spoiled and i know it and i get what i want when i want it most of the time but this is something that i'm not getting just yet and it feels like every where i look someone else is getting married or someone else is having a baby and i'm stuck not wanting to go to school any more in limbo about if i'm having a wedding and no baby. All i have ever wanted was my own family. growing up in an unstable environment thats all i've ever wanted...just to be a wife and a mommy...to just have my own family...and i sit here and wait...and wait and wait while i feel like some people who dont even want babies have them and me who wants one so bad just waits. and as for this wedding situation just thinking about it makes me want to cry. i feel like i'm the only one doing any thing with the support of allison telling me she will help but she shouldn't be the only one helping me...why isn't either of out families taking this seriously and helping why am i the only one trying. Im just not happy where i'm at right now...i hate school and as much as i dont want everyone to be mad at me for not going i really dont care cuz i'm not doing it for them i'm doing it for me and i dont wanna be in school anymore...i'm not happy and i dont wanna do it. sorry to disappoint but its my choice. i dont know anymore...the rate things are going we wont have a wedding...which tears me up just thinking about it...

I love jason so much! more then i can put into words and i know i dont tell him as much as i should but he is just such an amazing person! he takes care of me better then i could take care of myself and he is just more then i ever dreamed i deserve. i really dont know what i would do if he wasn't in my life. i know i'm going to go crazy when he has to be gone for work...but its better for us and hopefully he will be doing something he enjoys..

Alrighty..on that note i'm off to lay next to my husband and feel safe,loved, and beautiful....nite

Current Mood: restless

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Feb. 16th, 2007

Sep. 19th, 2006

01:40 pm - Long nights

Last night i laid down and felt cold, you weren't here to hold me, and that made me sad...i dont like sleeping alone, but i dont like sleeping with just anyone...it has to be you and only you, you make me feel warm in the dead of winter...your touch sends chills through my body...but always leaves me with a smile...its weird how we've been doing this for so long yet for some reason it gets harder...i just want to be with you..i just want to feel you, see you, embrace you. I LOVE YOU!! i cant wait to marry you and have you children...hell right now i just want to see you..i want to touch you to talk to you..anything. i miss you!!!

I cant fathom how danni is doing it, not even her but for everyone else who has someone over there...i dont even wanna think about it..it would hurt to bad to be with out you for that long.

Oh how i cant wait to see you again!! I love you so much babe!!

Current Mood: love

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Sep. 4th, 2006

12:26 pm

hmm...where to start? happy news or sad news... i guess we'll go sad then happy...

~Saturday i had to give my puppy away..and to tell ya the truth it still stings! he was a brown lab and full of energy..he was my baby...but my stupid landlord wouldn't let us have a dog so i had to give him away...he now has lots of land to run, another dog to play with, and children to love him..but it still makes me wanna cry thinking about him...i really didn't get to say goodbye.

~More sad news Adam, Danielles boyfriend is leaving sunday for some more training the he will be going to Iraq in the winter...but when he leaves he wont be coming back for about a year and a half. hes more than just a friend to me hes like family. and i'm really upset about it and upset cuz i know that danielle is going to be a mess. so i'm going to come stay with her sat night so i can be with her when he leaves.

~I hear Josh is coming home and i know there is no way i'll be able to talk to him since his woman hates me..that really kills me cuz that boy means soooo much to me!

~I moved in last sat and have only spent about 4 nights home and none of the times have i been alone..sad story!! i kinda feel left out from things..but since i dont really care to drink or party maybe its better that i'm not around.

HAPPY NEWS

~I moved into my house in ypsi and school is suppose to start on wed but there has been some striking happening so i'm hoping i start cuz i've paid and i wanna start school...weird i know! so eveyone has an open invite to come up and stay at the house!! come visit soon!!

~I'm only 20min. for Jason! i hate being in jackson and being an hour away from him!!

Not really sure what else to add...i currently have no job..not sure if thats happy or sad since i worked 2 jobs for most of the summer its nice to have a little time to chill yet at the same time i really need a job!!

And i bought a car sad cuz i had to spend money happy cuz it was only $800 and my grandmas bf inspected it from top to bottom, another happy cuz its all mine and i dont have to deal with my mother anymore..since she is the reason i had to buy a car. the car i was driving and had been paying insurence and gas on for over 6months. the car she said would be mine she decided to take it back cuz my stepdads car crapped out on him..then she has the balls to say that she would see it to me for $1000 after my grandma from my dads side just bought and replaces the leaking gas tank that my mom isn't going to pay me anything for..grrr...i'm so glad im out of the house again!!

Current Location: @ my house in ypsi

Current Mood: content

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Jul. 15th, 2006

09:07 am - i'm back...

Wow...you all thought i'd left didn't you...well i've just been gone for a little while...i don't really have the interent...but i'm house sitting my dads for a month so i will def. be on ALOT more then i have...

My jobs kinda suck...i'm just sick of working...the parlor is getting to be a big pain in the ass...and frosty boy..well thats the same old same old..i enjoy it but at the same i'm just kind of done working...

I want to go back to school...move in with my wonderful friends...and just start having fun..my summer has been ok but with working two jobs seven days a week its kind of hard to do anything...i just want some freedom.

And my wonderful car is leaking gas...thats always a fun time...i thought my dad fixed it but it only worked for a little while so the $35 i put into it yesterday is half gone...yay it also has an oil leak..fun times..i think i'm going to shot it...


On the fun side...me and katie are haveing a pure romance party...aka a sex toy party...if anyone is interested..you have to be of the female sex to join...thats the rules sorry guys... but its at the end of the month.. on Thurs. July 26 @6 pm. at my dads house...if you wanna come and you need to know how to get here just give me a call and i will get you here..

but alrighty..i have to drive out to parma to take care of my dog..jump in the shower and go to work...yay!!

love ya,
~*~Mexi~*~

Current Mood: content

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Apr. 10th, 2006

12:58 am - Why

Why do i let things get to me so much?

Why doesn't he act like a man and just say something to me not just delete me?

Why dont we talk when you say that you want to?

Why wont you bring it up?

Why do i look when i know its just going to hurt?

Why do i read about it when i know it just hurts?

Why cant i have what i really want?

Why does it have to seem so small but be so big to me?

Why couldn't things have been different growing up so it wouldnt be such a problem?

Why to i care so much?

Why do i have to wait?

GRRRRRRR..........

Current Mood: frustrated/sad

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Mar. 30th, 2006

Feb. 15th, 2006

02:26 pm - Love....

ACT I SCENE V A hall in Capulet's house.
ROMEO To JULIET
This holy shrine, the gentle fine is this:
My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand
To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss. 100
JULIET Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much,
Which mannerly devotion shows in this;
For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch,
And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.
ROMEO Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too? 105
JULIET Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.
ROMEO O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do;
They pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.
JULIET Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake.
ROMEO Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take. 110
Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged.
JULIET Then have my lips the sin that they have took.
ROMEO Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged!
Give me my sin again.
JULIET You kiss by the book. 115
Nurse Madam, your mother craves a word with you.
ROMEO What is her mother?
Nurse Marry, bachelor,
Her mother is the lady of the house,
And a good lady, and a wise and virtuous 120
I nursed her daughter, that you talk'd withal;
I tell you, he that can lay hold of her
Shall have the chinks.
ROMEO Is she a Capulet?
O dear account! my life is my foe's debt. 125
Exeunt all but JULIET and Nurse
JULIET Come hither, nurse. What is yond gentleman? 135
Nurse The son and heir of old Tiberio.
JULIET What's he that now is going out of door?
Nurse Marry, that, I think, be young Petrucio.
JULIET What's he that follows there, that would not dance?
Nurse I know not. 140
JULIET Go ask his name: if he be married.
My grave is like to be my wedding bed.
Nurse His name is Romeo, and a Montague;
The only son of your great enemy.
JULIET My only love sprung from my only hate! 145
Too early seen unknown, and known too late!
Prodigious birth of love it is to me,
That I must love a loathed enemy.


ACT II SCENE II Capulet's orchard.
JULIET Ay me!
ROMEO She speaks:
O, speak again, bright angel! for thou art
As glorious to this night, being o'er my head 30
As is a winged messenger of heaven
Unto the white-upturned wondering eyes
Of mortals that fall back to gaze on him
When he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds
And sails upon the bosom of the air. 35
JULIET O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?
Deny thy father and refuse thy name;
Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love,
And I'll no longer be a Capulet.
'Tis but thy name that is my enemy; 40
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.
What's Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!
What's in a name? that which we call a rose 45
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,
And for that name which is no part of thee 50
Take all myself.
JULIET How camest thou hither, tell me, and wherefore?
The orchard walls are high and hard to climb,
And the place death, considering who thou art,
If any of my kinsmen find thee here.
ROMEO With love's light wings did I o'er-perch these walls; 70
For stony limits cannot hold love out,
And what love can do that dares love attempt;
Therefore thy kinsmen are no let to me.
JULIET If they do see thee, they will murder thee.
ROMEO Alack, there lies more peril in thine eye 75
Than twenty of their swords: look thou but sweet,
And I am proof against their enmity.
JULIET I would not for the world they saw thee here.
ROMEO I have night's cloak to hide me from their sight;
And but thou love me, let them find me here: 80
My life were better ended by their hate,
Than death prorogued, wanting of thy love.
JULIET By whose direction found'st thou out this place?
ROMEO By love, who first did prompt me to inquire;
He lent me counsel and I lent him eyes. 85
I am no pilot; yet, wert thou as far
As that vast shore wash'd with the farthest sea,
I would adventure for such merchandise.
JULIET Thou know'st the mask of night is on my face,
Else would a maiden blush bepaint my cheek 90
For that which thou hast heard me speak to-night
Fain would I dwell on form, fain, fain deny
What I have spoke: but farewell compliment!
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say 'Ay,'
And I will take thy word: yet if thou swear'st, 95
Thou mayst prove false; at lovers' perjuries
Then say, Jove laughs. O gentle Romeo,
If thou dost love, pronounce it faithfully:
Or if thou think'st I am too quickly won,
I'll frown and be perverse an say thee nay, 100
So thou wilt woo; but else, not for the world.
In truth, fair Montague, I am too fond,
And therefore thou mayst think my 'havior light:
But trust me, gentleman, I'll prove more true
Than those that have more cunning to be strange. 105
I should have been more strange, I must confess,
But that thou overheard'st, ere I was ware,
My true love's passion: therefore pardon me,
And not impute this yielding to light love,
Which the dark night hath so discovered. 110
ROMEO Lady, by yonder blessed moon I swear
That tips with silver all these fruit-tree tops--
JULIET O, swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon,
That monthly changes in her circled orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise variable. 115
ROMEO What shall I swear by?
JULIET Do not swear at all;
Or, if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self,
Which is the god of my idolatry,
And I'll believe thee. 120
ROMEO If my heart's dear love--
JULIET Well, do not swear: although I joy in thee,
I have no joy of this contract to-night:
It is too rash, too unadvised, too sudden;
Too like the lightning, which doth cease to be 125
Ere one can say 'It lightens.' Sweet, good night!
This bud of love, by summer's ripening breath,
May prove a beauteous flower when next we meet.
Good night, good night! as sweet repose and rest
Come to thy heart as that within my breast! 130
ROMEO O, wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?
JULIET What satisfaction canst thou have to-night?
ROMEO The exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine.
JULIET I gave thee mine before thou didst request it:
And yet I would it were to give again. 135
ROMEO Wouldst thou withdraw it? for what purpose, love?
JULIET But to be frank, and give it thee again.
And yet I wish but for the thing I have:
My bounty is as boundless as the sea,
My love as deep; the more I give to thee, 140
The more I have, for both are infinite.
Nurse calls within
I hear some noise within; dear love, adieu!
Anon, good nurse! Sweet Montague, be true.
Stay but a little, I will come again.
Exit, above
ROMEO O blessed, blessed night! I am afeard. 145
Being in night, all this is but a dream,
Too flattering-sweet to be substantial.
Re-enter JULIET, above
JULIET Three words, dear Romeo, and good night indeed.
If that thy bent of love be honourable,
Thy purpose marriage, send me word to-morrow, 150
By one that I'll procure to come to thee,
Where and what time thou wilt perform the rite;
And all my fortunes at thy foot I'll lay
And follow thee my lord throughout the world.
Nurse Within
JULIET I come, anon.--But if thou mean'st not well, 155
I do beseech thee--
Nurse Within
JULIET By and by, I come:--
To cease thy suit, and leave me to my grief:
To-morrow will I send.
ROMEO So thrive my soul-- 160
JULIET A thousand times good night!
Exit, above
ROMEO A thousand times the worse, to want thy light.
Love goes toward love, as schoolboys from
their books,
But love from love, toward school with heavy looks. 165
Retiring
Re-enter JULIET, above
JULIET Hist! Romeo, hist! O, for a falconer's voice,
To lure this tassel-gentle back again!
Bondage is hoarse, and may not speak aloud;
Else would I tear the cave where Echo lies,
And make her airy tongue more hoarse than mine, 170
With repetition of my Romeo's name.
ROMEO It is my soul that calls upon my name:
How silver-sweet sound lovers' tongues by night,
Like softest music to attending ears!


ACT V SCENE III A churchyard; in it a tomb belonging to the Capulets
ROMEO In faith, I will. Let me peruse this face.
Mercutio's kinsman, noble County Paris! 75
What said my man, when my betossed soul
Did not attend him as we rode? I think
He told me Paris should have married Juliet:
Said he not so? or did I dream it so?
Or am I mad, hearing him talk of Juliet, 80
To think it was so? O, give me thy hand,
One writ with me in sour misfortune's book!
I'll bury thee in a triumphant grave;
A grave? O no! a lantern, slaughter'd youth,
For here lies Juliet, and her beauty makes 85
This vault a feasting presence full of light.
Death, lie thou there, by a dead man interr'd.
Laying PARIS in the tomb
How oft when men are at the point of death
Have they been merry! which their keepers call
A lightning before death: O, how may I 90
Call this a lightning? O my love! my wife!
Death, that hath suck'd the honey of thy breath,
Hath had no power yet upon thy beauty:
Thou art not conquer'd; beauty's ensign yet
Is crimson in thy lips and in thy cheeks, 95
And death's pale flag is not advanced there.
Tybalt, liest thou there in thy bloody sheet?
O, what more favour can I do to thee,
Than with that hand that cut thy youth in twain
To sunder his that was thine enemy? 100
Forgive me, cousin! Ah, dear Juliet,
Why art thou yet so fair? shall I believe
That unsubstantial death is amorous,
And that the lean abhorred monster keeps
Thee here in dark to be his paramour? 105
For fear of that, I still will stay with thee;
And never from this palace of dim night
Depart again: here, here will I remain
With worms that are thy chamber-maids; O, here
Will I set up my everlasting rest, 110
And shake the yoke of inauspicious stars
From this world-wearied flesh. Eyes, look your last!
Arms, take your last embrace! and, lips, O you
The doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss
A dateless bargain to engrossing death! 115
Come, bitter conduct, come, unsavoury guide!
Thou desperate pilot, now at once run on
The dashing rocks thy sea-sick weary bark!
Here's to my love!
Drinks
O true apothecary! 120
Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die.
JULIET Yea, noise? then I'll be brief. O happy dagger! 175
Snatching ROMEO's dagger
This is thy sheath;
Stabs herself
there rust, and let me die.



PRINCE A glooming peace this morning with it brings;
The sun, for sorrow, will not show his head:
Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things; 315
Some shall be pardon'd, and some punished:
For never was a story of more woe
Than this of Juliet and her Romeo.

Current Mood: content

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Feb. 1st, 2006

03:10 pm

So yesterday i get a phone call from my dad saying that my great grandma rosie was sent to the hospital the night before, that she had a silent heart attack and they dont know how long shes going to be around...apparently she was up and joking around with the nurses and stuff but then just was kind of out of it...so i emailed my government teacher and drove home. i got home about 2:30ish and me and my step mom waited for my sister to get out of school to go see my g-grandma..well as we were leaving we called to see what room number and my grandma said that she was getting heart tests done that we could come up in about an hour or so. and she told us she was really out of it and no longer really responding to people..

So we sat around and i tried to go to the library cuz i had a 5page paper due this morning but our library didnt have what i needed..then i went to the hopistal. it was so hard to see her laying there..she had so much stuff in her lungs it was just sad to listen to her breath, and it didnt sound like it was to comfortable. i sat with her for a while and my uncle tim came in..we sat and bsed for awhile telling me how cool his grandma was..

Then i had to take my step mom and sister home but i went right back up to the hospital...i couldn't leave her just yet, i knew it might be the last time i saw her...so again i sat with my uncle and tried to talk to her for awhile...befor i was leaving she opened her eyes a little and looked at me..kissing her on the forhead i left, telling her how much i loved her..

I got a bite to eat with my uncle and headed home to deal with my paper and studying for a test...well the paper got mostly finished at 3:30ish in the morning and i decided i would have to force myself to sleep..and i did

Today i was so tired i could hardly stay away i feel asleep in two of my classes...good think i have friends in there that can catch me up. just before 12 i called my dad to see if he had gotten to see g-grandma since he was working yesterday..he told me he stayed there until about 1am and that there was really nothing they could do for her but keep her comfortable..he told me he would call me if anything happened..i told him i loved him and went to my class...a little after 12 my mom called me but i didnt answer since i was in the middle of doing a lab for computer science...then my dad called me and i knew she was gone..i left the class and picked up my phone..she had passed a little after noon.

I dont know how to deal with this...this is the first person close to me that has died...and i know shes happy now and shes not in pain and shes in heaven with my g-grandpa and my aunt liz...so she has her husband and child..its just crazy..she was the sharpest 91 year old women i've ever met..me and my mom went and saw her sometime last year and it had been forever since she had last saw my mom but she told her the date, the place and what my mom was wearing the last time she saw her. she was amazing..

Now i'm kind of just blah..and dont really know how to deal...i'm eatting a little bit better today..for the last few days i really havent ate to well...

But i'm going to try and find something to do...

~*~Mexi~*~

R.I.P~Rosie Kirven

Current Mood: sad

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Jan. 30th, 2006

01:59 am - Venting...

Ok...so last night sucked ball...well at first it was ok...there was about 10 of us in my friends room drinking playing cards and having a good time..i decide to drink even though i really dont care to but sence randy was in town then i decided that hey why not have a little fun...we'll we were getting kind of loud and two R.A. came knocking on the door..and basically said i know your drinking dump it out and we wont get you in trouble..so eveyone decides to go to this frat party which i didn't want to go to since i was a little tipsy and i just wanted to sleep..but they talked/dragged me into going with them. on the way there some guy stoped us and told us if we were going to the frat party that we need to lay low for a little while cuz the cops just busted it...the only thing that poped into my mind was "wonderful" i already have a ticket for a hit and run i dont need anything for underaged drinking...so we sat in a bus stop pick up thing and waited to see what we were going to do. my friend matt met up with one of his friends that knew some people at the frat house...he called them to see if they cops were gone and if the party was going to be starting up again. the cops had gone and off to the party we went..yay.. we got there and it was one of the houses that i had been to the second day we moved in..me and jeny sat on the washer and just watched the people..i decided to turn on the washer and dryer just for fun since it was there and i was sick of watching all the stupid drunk people. as i sat there watching people fall down the stairs i realized i'm so much better than this shit what the hell am i doing here..i'm not having fun these people are stupid and i'm not this kind of person. so after awhile we i decided i wanted to leave.. me and jason started walking back to the dorm when on our way a girl stoped us and asked us for direction...we helped her out the best we could and she started walking down the road at 2:30 in the morning...and i didnt think we should be letting this girl walk down the road by herself when she didn't know where she was going or how long it would take..so me and jason walked with her..come to find out she is only 15 and has an 18yr. boyfriend who is a college drop out and gave her a STD when they first started going out..it was crazy..long story short we walked her about :45min to her boyfriends house and walked back..if that were my kid there is no way in hell she would be out at that time of night..it was crazy she had no one to call to pick her up no one to save her...it was sad and scary...i'm sorry but kids like her make me not want children she was raped when she was 14 and i think its been down hill from there. bring a child into this fucked up world scares me at times...then we tried to get some sleep but everyone was really loud and shit...so we didnt get much sleep and went to bed around 5-5:30ish. so i have decided that i'm not going to drink anymore nor am i going to go out...because i hate drunk stupid people and sometimes even buzzed people piss me off so if i stay away from it i'll be ok.

Then my two friends scott and joyce like each other...like he got her a really nice x-mas gift and they like each other..but at first he was a slut and she kinda got that way too...she had a bad experience with sex and it went down hill from there...well last night at this party she got drunk and when she's drunk she does stupid things...well she got drunk and made out with some guy..yes stupid i know but they really weren't in a relationship..they were acting like they were..which really isn't a relationship..i think this whole thing could have been solved if people knew how to communicate more...it stupid that people have all this shit bottled up or they will tell other people but not the people that really need to hear it..its stupid and doesnt do anyone any good. god damn it if you love/like someone tell them...if you kinda wanna be with them but not then tell them...people do better with the truth..most of the time people get most pissed off when they dont know something is going on or they find out from someone else.. i admit what joyce did was stupid and she really needs to fucken learn to grow up or stop drinking cuz if she cant handle herself then shes just going to get..for lack of a better word...fucked. so i dont know whats going to happen with this one..hopefully they finally get things out in the open and work on their downfalls together...

More to vent about...i talked to my brother(Josh)last night and hes coming home the 3-15th yay..i cant wait to see him..but anyways hes going to get married when he comes home to...we'll just call her the bitch...so thats exciting...i'm so pissed off at all these stupid people getting married or getting knocked up or doing something totaly stupid when they have all them time in the fucking world...your young..my fucking god slow down a god damn minute..breath, live, enjoy things..i really dont think he loves her all that much..i think hes just worried about having someone to come home to.."if" he comes home hes says..he asked me tonight if i dont come home is there anything of mine you want...god i cant even type that with out crying..so i told him i want his tags. i dont know what i'm going to do when he leaves...we're both scared but i'm trying to be strong for him cuz i know hes scared...its coming up on him so quickly. it just hurts so bad thinking that he might not come home..he holds a special place in my heart and i don't know what i would do if he wasn't there. how many people do you know that just by a hug can make your day totally better? josh does that for me. hmm....we'll i'm feeling kinda out of it now...so i'm going to go back to playing neopets...hope it will calm me down a little bit...i guess i should sleep too...it is like 2:30 in the morning...

Alrighty..well thanx for letting me vent...sorry its to long...

~*~Mexi~*~

Current Mood: bitchy

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Jan. 23rd, 2006

05:35 pm - Hello

Hello to everyone....how are you doing today? i'm alright...kinda tired but doing good.

So this morning i get up early cuz i stayed at jason house...i get up @ 7:30 and drive home so i can be to my 9 o'clock class...i make i home and have enough time to come back to my dorm before i have to leave...i bring one of my bags up with me since i did laundry this weekend and i didnt want to have to get two bags later...i walk all the way to the door and find out our elevator isn't working...so up 63 stairs with my bags to my room. that was fun...Not! Then i decided i would be good and make me some breakfast for on my way to class...which for any of you that know me..i dont do breakfast..but it sounded good today...so me and jeny get ourselves ready and head out to our class...almost half way there one of my friends stops me and says..we dont have class, theres a note on the door..so we walk all the way back. Good times...

I talked to katie today...her moms going to kill her if she doesnt stop spending money...so katie..stop spending money or i'm going to call your mother...even though i do love sex in the city stop buying them... oh well i guess you'll never learn..i love you anyways...

So yeah...i know this might sound bad...but there are people in my family that have things that i want, at a young age...and everytime i'm around them i get more and more jealous of them...and i try not to be and i try to be happy but for some reason it still makes me jealous. and i really dont know how to stop this feeling. oh well i guess i just have to suck it up and deal with it...

Well i'm off to do something productive...i'm sure nothing will get done knowing me...but i think me and the girls (jeny, sarah, joyce and krista) are going to go for a walk around campus tonight..i guess its about 3miles so that should be fun...

Ttyl...

~*~Mexi~*~

P.s. on the bright side of my day i got to talk to Leigh...yay i miss her!! we really didnt have much to talk about...bordem had set in and we both were kinda blah..but at least i know shes still alive... :~D

Current Mood: jealous

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Jan. 18th, 2006

05:50 pm - I know i know its been to long...

As I sit here in front of my computer...day in and day out...i ponder different things about life...and decide "today will be the day i do something"...or "today will be the day that i type something in my livejournal" but the days come and go and i just sit here and play on neopets. i know i live a sad sad life...

So i'm sitting here making photo albums on my facebook, yes i know i'm like the last one to make one..kiss my ass.. :~D. Anyways i'm scaning all these fun pictures in...and it kinda makes me sad..i miss you guys..i miss what we all had together..oh the joys of growing up :~P

I did realize how much i love being up on the forth floor...i can look out and see pretty cars driving down the road...ok so the view isn't the best but it just makes me feel good to be able to see more than just whats at eye level...i feel tall for once in my life.. :~D It just looks so pretty outside...even though i know its cold and snowing and in NO way is that pretty.

I can't wait until it starts to get warmer...i just want to go lay out underneath the stars on a warm clear night. watch the fireflies, go swimming, go for a walk...anything as long as i'm outside..and its warm.

Ya know as badly as i want things to speed up...i know once they do i'm going to regret wanting them to be over with so fast...thats what happened with high school....

Well just thought i would let everyone know i'm still alive...ttyl

~*~Mexi~*~

Current Mood: peaceful

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Nov. 21st, 2005

11:19 pm - is it bad?

Is it bad when i hate someone so much that everytime i think of that person or that person gets brought up i want to stab them in the heart???...which i dont think they have..so id have to stab them in other places....


Ok..now that, that is out..on a lighter note...i haven't updated in a long time...lets see whats been going on in my little life??

~ Me and Jason are doing wonderful...we are totally moving to AZ when i'm done with school..yay warm weather and family...cant beat that!

~ My "children" (my friends here @ school) have a problem being good when "Mom" (me) isn't around which makes me want to punch them all in the head..they never learn.

~ Classes are ok...i already picked out classes for winter and i cant wait..all my classes will be in one building so i dont have to climb the shitty hill in the snow, krista will be in a few of my classes so we can help each other out, and i'm taking 18 credit hours so i might kill myself at the end cuz thats going to be a hell of a lot of work. and i figured out all my classes i need for my major, minor and to graduate for the rest of my college career so i just need to do them now..fun fun

~ Mine and Kristas room is a mess...i need to have someone come in and clean it cuz we're both to lazy to do it. teehee

~ Tomorrow i only have 2 classes instead of three..the only shitty thing is the one class i get off is my middle class so i cant come home early..i should be in the wonderful town of jackson about 3ish i'm going to pack during the time i would have had class.

~ TURKEY DAY is sooooo close and i cant wait!! yummy food and family!! yay

keffler enjoys sex (random comment of the journal)

Alrighty...so thats about it...i'll be home tomorrow..hope to see you all, we need to hang out and have fun like old times...

~*~Mexi~*~

Current Mood: drained

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Nov. 2nd, 2005

Oct. 26th, 2005

Oct. 18th, 2005

Oct. 13th, 2005

02:34 pm

You live so close yet your so far
Sometimes i feel like i dont know who you are
You do stupid things that one day you'll regret
I think its sad you havent found help yet
Seeing you today just made me sad
The life you lead will only turn out bad
I wish you the best but i'm so afraid
Ur so far gone and dont wanna be saved
I wish we could go back when things were all wright
When we could talk and our futures in plain sight
Now i cant seem to reach you your so far away
For you every night i will pray
That things will get better and you'll get on track
So one day you'll be happy and not get stabbed in the back
I love you, God knows that I do
I wish i could help you stop being a fool
I'm sorry so mean i'm sorry so harsh
But i just though you should know your tearing you life apart.


I Love you....~*~Mexi~*~

Current Mood: disappointed/sad

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Oct. 3rd, 2005

01:35 am - Its been awhile...

I haven't really updated since i moved into college...not that i havent had time is just i dont know what to say...do know how do say it anymore...

College is fine...i love being here...this is my home now and its nice. i've met a lot of interesting ppl and been to some interesting places. i have a hang out where we go to party its Brad and Justins they are 3rd years and 1st years here...if ur smart u'll get it...so we bring the ppl and they supply beer..yuck..fun and a place to drink. drinkings getting boring to me even though Jason is now 21...it just gets to be same old thing...i do like to go out and watch everyone else get drunk or tipsy and make sure they get home safe.

On sat my wonderful boyfriend took me and my gay friend to the strip club...that was fun...i got a lap dance from a cute girl..she's a 3rd year at eastern too..teeheehee. so that was an interesting experence. good times..i'm sure i'll go again. my gay friend andy got a lap dance too which of course did nothing but farther his gayness...but he did win a free porn which i got..yay porn..

My roomies 18th birthday is coming up soon...yay...i think i'm going to take her out clubing cuz i dont think she'll wanna go to the strip club. it should be a fun weekend. i'm looking forward to it. i have to figure out what i'm going to get her for her bday...the joys of not having any money...oh the life of a college student.

Jason is still the most amazing man in the world...the more i'm here and listen to other ppls relationships or the things going on behind ppls backs..which i'm staying out of and that hurts..but oh we'll they live and learn...anyways the more i hear about that stuff the more i realize that i have a one of a kind...hes just wonderful. and i'm really luck to have him. so i'm kinda glad i have friends with stupid boyfriends like ones that brake up with them cuz they asked their ex boyfriend to help them in math and she keeps going back even though she knows it stupid and still thinks there going to get engaged this summer...sssuuuurrreee...or ones that might keep big secrets from there girls until they finally mess up and think that if they find a ring maybe that will make up for them being stupid...the more i hear the more i stop and thank God that i have Jason!! cuz i love him and even thought it sux were not together all the time and i'd like to fast foward to marrying him....i know i can wait cuz we truly are in love and dont have to rush into things.

Well i should go to bed...i think the light from the computer might be bugging my sleepy roomie...and i have class in the morn. just thought id let out some of the stuff thats just sitting inside me...ttyl

~*~Mexi~*~

Oh by the way my phone works now...so feel free to call me...it was off for like a month..but we are up and running..i miss u all and love you!!

Come visit!!

Current Mood: content

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Sep. 22nd, 2005

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